Rushed Into Being: September 2017

Monday, September 18, 2017

HOH Magazine: July 2017 Issue

A photoshopped cover of O, the Oprah Magazine changed to HOH, the David Magazine, with Oprah laying on her back in a flower bed, reading a book and holding a cocker spaniel in her lap, has been replaced with David's face in the same pose, and the book has been re-skinned to have the front and back covers of "Cookin' With Coolio, 5 star meals on a 1 star budget", with the spine of the original book colored purple to match the scheme of Coolio's book, with the word "Coolio" from the front cover pasted on the spine. The primary headline in big letters on this magazine now reads "Boobs, Glorious Boobs!" (as opposed to the original "books") and instead of "Pull up a cocker spaniel and start reading..." it says "Pull up a cock spanker and start Pulling..." because David practices all forms of humor. The other two headlines are left un-touched, but given added words by David: "6 Healthcare Musts Every Woman Should Fight For...(Hint: Viagra isn't one of them)" has the added parenthetical (OBVIOUSLY) in a font that looks like rushed paintbrush strokes, though it is the same white color as the other font. Up top in the right corner, "The U.S. of YUM: Our Favorite Food Finds from all 50 states" includes the extra text "Yes, even Ohio"

July. I'll begin by exclaiming that I've been in (and on) the water more times this summer than any summer for many a recent year. Partly for filming Detective P.I., partly for vacation, or at least vacation-adjacent, purposes. I've grown accustomed to swimming in lakes in the last seven years, even though I still dislike lakes for various reasons. Hey, let's make that the first topic: David critiques Minnesota's most popular natural resource! (Yeah that's right, get bent, iron!)