HOH Magazine: Quarantine Day 900 Edition

We're halfway there, folks! September 2nd, 2022, was the 900th day since I locked down for 6-8 weeks (42-56 days) and began counting the squares on the calendar (900 days.)

I've been on a sort of HOH Magazine haitus. I began, stalled, re-began, stalled, and re-began an issue of HOH Magazine for March of 2021, listing the names of the various humans whose lives were directly, literally threatened by a literal angry mob, and still decided to vote to not convict the man responsible for telling the angry mob where to go to find these very same people and inflict treasonous violence against them. That's weird!

HOH Magazine: New Year 2022 Issue

Same year, new me! It's been two years to the Day (St. Patrick's that is) that I started officially quarantining. That's much, much more than eight weeks guys, come on, what's up?

So it's still 2020, and still 2016 as well. I don't make the rules of arrested development, I just serve my time. A lazy, knee-jerk inclination to alter that opening quip to say "same me" was escorted quickly out of my head, because I am still pushing against the ceilings of evermore chrysalis-tine chapels within me, trying slowly but surely to grow and change. Even if the world emphatically doesn't want me to. You will get your David's worth even if you have to choke on it.

HOH Magazine: February 2021 Issue

The Love Edition, whatever that means. Inside, this cold fish will dish out hot tips and outsider info on that crazy little thing called love. I'll help you understand what it is to 'be yourself' a little better. I even write a love letter to my 16-year-old self! Happy Reverse-Valentine's Day!

A Very Specific and In-Depth Critique of Pokémon Brilliant Diamond & Shining Pearl's Art Design

[The following is the extended portion of the "I'm Into This - Pokémon Brilliant Diamond & Shining Pearl (...Kind Of)" segment published in the February 2021 issue of HOH Magazine. It's being published here in its unabridged entirety, not because it 'deserves to stand on its own' but because editor-in-chief David Hoh felt it was too long for the 'I'm Into This' segment.]

The announcement of remakes for the Generation IV games, Pokémon Diamond and Pokémon Pearl versions, were not unexpected. In fact, I'd been expecting them since the originals came to North America in 2007. We'd recently had Pokémon FireRed and LeafGreen, remakes of the original Gen I games; so even being amazed at D/P's graphical improvements on the Nintendo DS, the most cutting-edge Pokémon games yet...I knew in the back of my mind "They're gonna remake these some day." I just didn't know when it would be, or what it would look like.

Until now.

HOH Magazine: January 2021 Issue

Welcome back, bitches!

New Year, New Issue!

Welcome back! I'm your new Oprah, yet again! Snatching the mantle for smithing my opinions and thoughts into self-help (or just media recommendations) once more! Read on for the new and renewed HOH Magazine!!

What Kind of Butterfly (Final Correspondence From The Cocoon)

Here I am, on the precipice of my chrysalis. Pressing against the dried, transparent walls of my cocoon. Can you see my coloration? I don't worry about what shape or decoration I will take when I emerge but the shape of the world I'm emerging into. But then again, just as all acting is reacting, I don't actually give a fuck about what shape your petty, fetid world is in. It is not mine to control, so what matter should I give to my mind over its form? I guess the tables turned, the facade is down: I do truly, actually worry what shape I will become. How I will be pressed and molded as I molt and shed, poked and bled by this greedy machine of consumption. I'd hope it's "as an avenging angel doing the work of God." But how do I guide that hope – that intention – into practice? Such notions make wrestling matches in my mind, the spectacle of thought.

If I haven't stated it so clearly before, then here: This world was not made for me but I belong in it.

Under A Rock (Correspondence From The Cocoon #3)

Last known photo of me happy. 11/8/2016, 4:02pm

I want to be a care-free person again.