Here I am, on the precipice of my chrysalis.Pressing against the dried, transparent walls of my cocoon. Can you see my coloration? I don't worry about what shape or decoration I will take when I emerge but the shape of the world I'm emerging into. But then again, just as all acting is reacting, I don't actually give a fuck about what shape your petty, fetid world is in. It is not mine to control, so what matter should I give to my mind over its form? I guess the tables turned, the facade is down: I do truly, actually worry what shape I will become. How I will be pressed and molded as I molt and shed, poked and bled by this greedy machine of consumption. I'd hope it's "as an avenging angel doing the work of God." But how do I guide that hope – that intention – into practice? Such notions make wrestling matches in my mind, the spectacle of thought.
If I haven't stated it so clearly before, then here: This world was not made for me but I belong in it.
"Record Recommendation / Hey 'Sup From Quarantine"
[Drafted as March 8, 2018:] Hey readers, I'm still here. I'm taking an hiatus because, like, ugh. I'm either lazy or busy or both these days. I'll still be doing the backlogged months. I'll get to them. The templates are there, some of them have half-cocked paragraphs or lists.
[Drafter as November 19th, 2020:] Hey readers, I want to use this again. I want to bring HOH Magazine back, with a more lax restructuring that would allow me to not feel weighted down by it, but excited by it instead. But I will also, for now, be using this as a space to make blog posts of a general sort.
Hey, in fact, this Hiatus Post was half-cooked with tags recommending an album that is a favorite of mine. I've been doing something similar in the Isolation Nation feature over on LewtonBus.net. Please check them out.
I never actually talked about Suego Faults by Wolf Gang for Isolation Nation. I haven't listened to the record in full in quite a while...maybe I have during Quarantine...I'm not so sure. But it is a great album worthy of recommendation. The more I listened to it the better it got, and now it's a top favorite. I know nothing of the band, nor have I seen a music video, recorded live performance, or even know of any other records they may have.
This is intentional, even if I'm missing out: the allure creates a thick perfume around it, an aura that sustains a magical quality of That New Sound, that keeps it floating in this little pocket where it is what it is, and what it is spreads out like roots into branches in my mind as I see visions of movie ideas, beautiful locales, and communication with the mental projection of my affection: a correspondence with a pedestal I need to take out from under. This album seems to alternate between fantastic scenarios of grand adventure and longing, love, and remorse. Where are you now? Back to back, we're stronger. I keep trying to move on; there's something in the way...
Listen to it!
Anyway, now that the 2018 intention of this post draft has been fulfilled, the 2020 intention of this post draft is: I'm going to post here more often now, cool? It hasn't been that long since 2018, yeah?
