Some Kind Of Anthropological Scientist Drove Our Bus Today

Well, not today, but yesterday...Monday, technically, as today is Wednesday, technically.

Now don't be alarmed that my entire blog so far is dedicated to bus-related stories; I have a totally non-metro transit one coming up that I also thought of Monday and this one is short so I can write it at 1:12 in the morning instead of going to bed.

So, I was on a bus, the final bus on my way to school, and it was crowded. This is usual because on the way to the school, students tend to catch rides to school via Metro Transit. Because I got on the bus earlier, I got a window seat.

So I'm sitting on the left side of the bus, bag on my lap, man next to me, and people single-file in the aisle, holding one hand up to grab stuff, when I hear the intercom say:

"Ladies and gentlemen: close quarters.

Be aware of your pockets, wallets, purses.

Your neighbor may not be your friend."

The bus driver had said this and I quickly began to wonder to what end.

The why is clear: he was commenting on the obvious state of crowdedness in the aisle.

I ask to what end because of what I observed happen next: There was a low mumble throughout the vehicle, and I chalked this up to people saying to one another "Well I'm not a thief."

Such overt and blunt words were probably not spoken but the sentiment was there, even if no words were said. What Bus Driver had said sparked an interest in each person to socially interact with the very people they were touching. A clear goal: Don't seem criminal, had coerced these strangers to recognize one another and exchange non-verbal cues.

Well I thought this was quite fucking brilliant; the bus driver had forced people to be more willingly open with one another, turn a mundane activity into a social stew of friendly acknowledgement, and possibly make someone's neighbor their friend. What could have come off as an awkward joke inducing more awkward and suspicious andaccusingandhatingandstereotypingandblamingandjudging behavior, resulted in people being mutually social and innocent.

"I'm not a thief, you don't have to worry" Said he with his eyes,

"That's okay, I didn't think you were. I'm not either, though." Said she, with her arm.

"I'm glad my wallet is safe." He said with his neck,

"I'm glad we all feel safer now, thank you, bus Driver." Said I, looking at the aisle of comfortable people, not looking to my neighbor, for we were sitting down and it would be difficult for him to take my wallet anyway.

Fucking brilliant social experiment.

I hope that bus driver turns that shit in and gets his Ph.D.

t

So, Today I Flipped Off A Bus.

The advantages of having one class a day is that my commuting schedule is fairly simple: take one series of buses out to the school, and one set back. Now, there are two optional routes to take. One route, the "traditional" one, is to catch a half-hourly bus not even a block away from my house, then catch a bus that takes me down one solid street from St. Paul into Minneapolis. Then I get off at the library and catch a third bus to the actual school building. The second, or "back-up" route gets me to walk about three blocks to a bus that takes me to a bus stop near an off-ramp, which takes me via highway to the same library, previous mentioned. From there it's the same direction.

So today (I'm actually writing this many days after the day it happened, although I started writing it the day after, but, for the sake of the story let's keep it in recent-tense) I had to take the "back-up" route, because I think I can do in two minutes what it takes me five-to-ten minutes to do. Well, anyway.
I started walking down the long stretch of street in an attempt to reach the second bus before the first one would. The first bus normally gets to the second bus's stop a minute after the second bus is supposed to have left. I was also doing this so that instead of sitting on a bench waiting for the first bus, I could meet it at a different stop, therefore getting myself some exercise, and possibly reaching the second bus, previously mentioned as.

Well, I caught up to the first bus, which had just passed by me to reach a stop, at that stop, mentioned as previously. For some reason, the bus started to depart from the stop before I was able to get on it. This pissed me off, and, having shaken my fist at buses for doing this in the past, I decided that this time I'd flip the bird.

So I did. And I'm sure someone on the bus saw, as I was banging it by the windows, but also, I'm sure the woman and her young daughter saw it too. I regret this, but in the moment the bus was the one being the dick of the situation!

Well, not for long. The bus stopped. For me.

So here I am, socially maladjusted, having just flicked off a bus which was now waiting just for me.

So I decided to not get on, and keep running past it as if I were too cool for it. As if I could get where I was going without it.

Also I was scared.

As the traffic on the street was a bit heavy, I would surpass it, then it would surpass me. I keep running, though, out of fear that the bus driver would be proven the winner in this imaginary game which I had created and was solely responsible for; I was running for my dignity, yet without it.

But then, there I was: winning this race, almost, nearly, at the corner where the second bus stop was just feet from.

I knew that I would become vindicated, and all the shame of what I had done would dissipate.

VROOM!

Then I heard, on the street behind me, the bus, passing me as if it were the final stretch, as if the bus driver knew they could shame me as the person who gave the middle finger to a bus before a small child that I was.

But it was at that point when I decided fuck it, I'm practically anonymous!

So the bus won, but I had called it off.

Take that, bus driver!

.......Then I had to wait in the sun for about half an hour before catching the second bus. I think I was late for class.

t